Valentines and Galentines
I kicked off this month with the Corrida de Los Locos trail race, a 6(ish) mile trail run around the Marty Sanchez golf course in Santa Fe. Punxsutawney Phil may have predicted an early spring, but it sure didn't feel like it that morning. It was chilly and overcast and the wind made my face numb. This was my first running race of the year, and I didn't train for it, but I thought of it as a good opportunity to push myself to run harder than I normally would and to enjoy the camaraderie that races offer. Later that afternoon, Ady put on my race belt and ran up and down the hall, yelling, "I'm racing! I'm racing!" I may have finished last in my age group, but I'm inspiring my toddler to be athletic and active!
I love my little family, my Valentines. Even on the really challenging toddler days, Ady still manages to make me smile, and I'm appreciative to have a partner with whom to experience the craziness of parenting. The other night after Ady pooped in the bath tub (again) and I told her I was "sick and tired" of picking up her turds from the tub, she heard the word sick and touched my forehead, asking, "Mommy sick?" She was full of compassion and concern, and I couldn't help but laugh. Later that night we read stories and sang songs before bedtime, and she held my hands and said, "I happy, Mommy." My heart was just bursting with love.
This month I have been reflecting on love and its many forms, and how the presence or absence of love can shape a person's entire life and existence. I'm a few weeks into my term on the Grand Jury of the first judicial court in Santa Fe (which I will write about in more depth at a later time), and as we hear case after case I can't help but feel that we, as a society, do not protect and support people, especially those in need, and that when people lack positive role models or loving relationships they are predisposed to bad decisions. This experience challenges my beliefs about humanity and highlights our flaws as people. Thankfully my faith in humanity is restored by the positive connections I have at home, at work, with friends and family across the miles, by attending inspiring local events (like Santa Fe Talks) and listening to Podcats and TED talks, by reading and learning, by spending quality time with friends, and taking time for myself.
My book club just finished reading Braiding Sweetgrass: Indigenous Wisdom, Scientific Knowledge and the Teachings of Plants, a beautiful compilation of nature stories by Robin Wall Kimmerer highlighting the Earth's gifts to us and the deep connection humans have with nature. During our conversation at our book club meeting that night we got to talking about how people give and experience love, which ultimately led to a discussion about the 5 Love Languages, which are (theoretically) the five min ways that people prefer to experience love and appreciation. My primary love language is words of affirmation, and I'm pretty sure I have a good understanding of the love languages of my family members and spouse, but I also think that the language of love is more complicated than that. Maybe we yearn for a certain form of love because that language was lacking in our childhood or in other friendships, or maybe friendships and companionship outside of a relationship fulfill us to the extent that our love language with our partner has changed. I also feel that love languages evolve over time as our social networks fluctuate, and can be impacted by our confidence and fulfillment in other realms. Nonetheless, I think understanding forms of love can help us be better friends and partners.
Jaycob and I have an annual Valentine's Day tradition of making dinner at home together, paired with a fancy bottle of wine, and we often exchange cards. This year I'm also going to try a new recipe for Flourless Chocolate Cake! Ady is at a fun age for celebrating holidays, and she picked out Paw Patrol valentines to share with her friends at school. In the spirit of love, I am totally digging the concept of Galentine's Day, an unofficial holiday on February 13th celebrating ladies and the friendships that sustain us. I don't believe that one person can be everything to another person, and I'm so appreciative of my female friends and coworkers who fill my life with laughter, meaningful conversation, and joy.
And finally, who can forget self-love, because that ultimately needs to come first. One of my favorite Christmas gifts this year was a FabFitFun box, an indulgent package of wellness and beauty products inviting self-care and relaxation. After my trail race at the beginning of this month I treated myself to a little at-home spa with a few of my favorite products from the box, including an exfoliating face wash, a hyaluronic acid eye mask, followed by curling up in my woven throw blanket with a good book. To love others, you must first love yourself.
I love my little family, my Valentines. Even on the really challenging toddler days, Ady still manages to make me smile, and I'm appreciative to have a partner with whom to experience the craziness of parenting. The other night after Ady pooped in the bath tub (again) and I told her I was "sick and tired" of picking up her turds from the tub, she heard the word sick and touched my forehead, asking, "Mommy sick?" She was full of compassion and concern, and I couldn't help but laugh. Later that night we read stories and sang songs before bedtime, and she held my hands and said, "I happy, Mommy." My heart was just bursting with love.
This month I have been reflecting on love and its many forms, and how the presence or absence of love can shape a person's entire life and existence. I'm a few weeks into my term on the Grand Jury of the first judicial court in Santa Fe (which I will write about in more depth at a later time), and as we hear case after case I can't help but feel that we, as a society, do not protect and support people, especially those in need, and that when people lack positive role models or loving relationships they are predisposed to bad decisions. This experience challenges my beliefs about humanity and highlights our flaws as people. Thankfully my faith in humanity is restored by the positive connections I have at home, at work, with friends and family across the miles, by attending inspiring local events (like Santa Fe Talks) and listening to Podcats and TED talks, by reading and learning, by spending quality time with friends, and taking time for myself.
My book club just finished reading Braiding Sweetgrass: Indigenous Wisdom, Scientific Knowledge and the Teachings of Plants, a beautiful compilation of nature stories by Robin Wall Kimmerer highlighting the Earth's gifts to us and the deep connection humans have with nature. During our conversation at our book club meeting that night we got to talking about how people give and experience love, which ultimately led to a discussion about the 5 Love Languages, which are (theoretically) the five min ways that people prefer to experience love and appreciation. My primary love language is words of affirmation, and I'm pretty sure I have a good understanding of the love languages of my family members and spouse, but I also think that the language of love is more complicated than that. Maybe we yearn for a certain form of love because that language was lacking in our childhood or in other friendships, or maybe friendships and companionship outside of a relationship fulfill us to the extent that our love language with our partner has changed. I also feel that love languages evolve over time as our social networks fluctuate, and can be impacted by our confidence and fulfillment in other realms. Nonetheless, I think understanding forms of love can help us be better friends and partners.
Jaycob and I have an annual Valentine's Day tradition of making dinner at home together, paired with a fancy bottle of wine, and we often exchange cards. This year I'm also going to try a new recipe for Flourless Chocolate Cake! Ady is at a fun age for celebrating holidays, and she picked out Paw Patrol valentines to share with her friends at school. In the spirit of love, I am totally digging the concept of Galentine's Day, an unofficial holiday on February 13th celebrating ladies and the friendships that sustain us. I don't believe that one person can be everything to another person, and I'm so appreciative of my female friends and coworkers who fill my life with laughter, meaningful conversation, and joy.
And finally, who can forget self-love, because that ultimately needs to come first. One of my favorite Christmas gifts this year was a FabFitFun box, an indulgent package of wellness and beauty products inviting self-care and relaxation. After my trail race at the beginning of this month I treated myself to a little at-home spa with a few of my favorite products from the box, including an exfoliating face wash, a hyaluronic acid eye mask, followed by curling up in my woven throw blanket with a good book. To love others, you must first love yourself.
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